OMG Arrested Development!
Posts tagged Tobias Funke
Narrator: That night, Tobias’s plan to change the streets with his gang also turned out to be ill-conceived.
Tobias: Hey, fezellas, looks like you guys are up to no good. Well… this gang used to be like that, too… three, four! (Rapping) / So, you think you’re tough / Well, we hate rappin’ / But don’t bust a cap in / ’Cause here’s what’s happ’nin’ / We’re breakin’ out some old-fashioned tappin’/
Hot Cop #5: (Singing.) / Hip of the Crips / There’s a new gang in town… /
Hot Cop #5: Oh! I’ve been shot!
Tobias: We miscalculated! Retreat!
31 notes
Tobias: All right, fellas, look, I know you know nothing but a life on the street. But I’d like to offer you something that the Queen Mary gave me. The joy of the stage. So, maybe you could, uh, start jeté-ing, and stop… je-terrorizing me.
55 notes
Tobias: I just bought the Queen Mary!
G.O.B.: You’re kidding. I was just gonna get a yacht.
Tobias: No, no, no. The club. I was dancing with what turned out to be the club’s owner, and he was looking to sell. Oh, he-he really, really did look like a woman. But anywho, can you believe that the only reason the club is going under is because it’s in a terrifying neighborhood?!
7 notes
Tobias: You’re right, Carl Weathers. I should just march into that restaurant where my wife works and tell her…
Carl Weathers: Your wife works in a restaurant? Do they get a shift meal, or do they just pay half price on select menu items?
Tobias: I don’t know.
Carl Weathers: Well, let’s find out, man.
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